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Motherhood Parenting

A Letter To The Mom Who Has Lost Herself

To the mom who has lost herself. The mom who has given everything she has to her children that she has forgotten how to take care of herself. To mom who has gone years without buying herself a single outfit. The mom who hasn’t had a shower in a week (or longer!). To the mom who has just given up on trying to remember who she is. And to the mom who wakes up only to go through the motions of each day, waiting on bedtime to arrive.

I know that days are hard to get through. I am right there with you. We wake up to children who scream and cater to them all day. Then we put them to bed, only to get up every hour to soothe them. We feel as though we have no time for ourselves. Our hair unclean, up in a bun every day. Dressed in sweats and a milk-stained shirt. Running around the house cleaning up behind our children. There are days when you just want to give up. The screaming never ends. You just can’t get a break. There are even days where you sit there wondering, “why did I want to have children?.”

When do we finally get to have time for ourselves?

The truth is, parenting is hard. It takes a huge toll on us and we all struggle. Even the best of us. It has become a societal norm that any mom who forgets about herself for her kids, is a superhero. But I don’t believe that’s right. When we begin to lose ourselves and stop taking care of ourselves, it has a negative impact on our children.

Everyday, you need to get up and make a conscious choice to remember yourself. Make self-care a goal. Make it a requirement. You need to make it a chore, until it becomes something that flows naturally into your daily routine. This is your reminder that your children are watching you. They see how you treat yourself and they pick up on your mannerisms. Do you go weeks without showering and expect your children to enjoy bath time without screaming? You skip meals and expect your children to sit down and eat? You stop exercising and wonder why your children are lazy?

It is time to take your negative emotions and your struggles and turn it into positive energy. Stop telling yourself that you have no time for yourself. Instead MAKE time for yourself. Five minutes here and there can really add up at the end of the day. Don’t get me wrong, it is okay to have bad days. It is okay for your children to see you struggle from time to time. But I’m talking to the mom’s who have just given up entirely. I’m talking to the mom’s who feel the stress and let it just take over them. I’m talking to myself.

To the mom who has lost herself,

Slow down. Each day, take the time to remind yourself of who you are and what you want. Both for yourself and for your children. Be mindful. You’ve got this. Just because you are a mom, doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself. Make that choice, everyday, to take care of yourself, because your children deserve you at your best. And you deserve you at your best. x

Check out my post 30 Days Of Self-Care For The Stay At Home Mom for some ideas on how to include self-care into your day when you’re caring for children!